Are you dating someone who seems too good to be true? Do they shower you with attention, affection, and gifts but never commit to anything serious? It may be time to face the facts – you could be dealing with a player.
Players are masters of manipulation and can make even the most intelligent person feel like they’re in love. It can take some time before their real motives come out into the open. To help you save yourself from heartache, we’ve compiled 22 signs that indicate your partner is using you for personal gain.
He Won’t Make Concrete Plans for the Future
If your partner is unwilling or unable to make concrete plans for the future, it could be a sign that he’s not invested in the relationship. When someone isn’t thinking long-term, they may have other motives. For example, if your partner only ever suggests plans with short notice and rejects your attempts to arrange something more permanent, he’s using you.
Be wary of any man who lacks commitment and won’t make plans with you that go beyond the here and now.
He Often Cancels on You at the Last Minute
Whether parties, dates, or meeting up in person, if your partner keeps canceling plans on you with no real explanation, it could suggest that he doesn’t value or take the relationship seriously. If it frequently happens, he probably doesn’t value or respect you enough to make time for you. Stand up for yourself and address the issue to avoid more disappointments.
He’s Always Talking About Other Women, Often Suggestively
If your partner can’t help but always talk about other women, even when it’s inappropriate or just plain disrespectful to you, it could be a sign that he is not only being disloyal but doesn’t take the relationship seriously. If he never shows any passion or interest in talking with you compared to talking about other people, it’s probably time to reassess the situation. Talk to him about it and get clarification on his intentions before things get out of control.
He’s Always Too Busy for Quality Time
Your man is likely using you if he rarely makes effort to spend quality time with you. If it seems like something is always more important than you, chances are, he’s not taking the relationship seriously. Communicate your feelings to him and be honest about how his lack of involvement makes you feel. If he doesn’t take it seriously then it might be time to let go and find someone who will give you the respect you deserve.
He Disappears for Days Without Contacting You
Disappearing for days without contact or explanation could mean a lack of interest. If he’s not making any effort to contact you or make plans, it could mean that he has other priorities. Talk to him and try to figure out what his intentions are so you can make a decision on whether this relationship is right for you. It might be time to move on if there’s no communication or effort put into the relationship.
He Talks to You Less Frequently Than He Did When You First Started Dating
Decreased communication can be a sign that he’s losing interest. If the conversations have become shorter and less frequent, it could mean that his attention has shifted elsewhere. Talk to him about how you feel and ask if there’s something else going on. You deserve to enjoy healthy communication in a relationship, so if this isn’t happening then it could be an indication that it’s time to move on.
You See Him Flirting With Other People When You’re Out Together
This behavior is disrespectful and shows a lack of commitment. If your partner is openly flirting with other people when you’re together, it’s a clear sign that he isn’t taking the relationship seriously. Talk to him about it and let him know how it makes you feel. If he continues to do this, then it might be time to reassess your relationship and decide if it’s worth continuing.
He Won’t Share Your Pictures on Social Media
If your partner is unwilling to share pictures of you on his social media, it could be a sign that he’s not proud of the relationship. A good partnership means being comfortable enough to show off your love for each other, so if he refuses to do this then it’s a clear indication that something isn’t right. Talk to him about it and see how he reacts – if he still makes excuses or changes the subject, then you’ll know that something isn’t quite right.
He Won’t Introduce You to His Family and Friends
It’s natural to want your partner to introduce you to his friends, especially if the relationship is becoming serious. If he doesn’t want to do this then it could be a sign that he’s ashamed of the relationship or doesn’t see it going anywhere in the long term. Again, talk to him about how it makes you feel – if he won’t open up, then it could be a red flag.
He Introduces You as a Friend, Not a Girlfriend
If he introduces you to his family and friends, but only as a friend, then this is also a red flag. It could mean that he’s ashamed of the relationship or that he doesn’t feel it has any potential for the future. Talk to him about how it makes you feel and suggest introducing you differently if it bothers you – otherwise, it could be time to move on.
He Talks About How Attractive Other Women Are in Front of You
It’s one thing for him to notice other women, but it’s another if he talks about how attractive they are in front of you. This is a clear sign that he doesn’t respect the relationship or your feelings and could be a red flag. Talk to him about why this bothers you and then decide if it’s something you can move past or if it’s time to end things.
He Isn’t Willing to Compromise
Making sacrifices is a fundamental part of relationships. A man who is never willing to compromise for the sake of the relationship is selfish, and he might just be a player. If he isn’t willing to make any effort to compromise, it could be a sign that you aren’t his priority and it’s time to move on.
He Avoids Talking About Commitment
A man who avoids discussing commitment may not be ready to commit to the relationship. He’s probably not interested in building a lasting bond with you and may be keeping himself for someone else. If he isn’t ready to invest in the relationship and commit, it might be time to look elsewhere.
He Calls or Texts Other Women
If your man is calling or texting other women, it’s a huge red flag. If he isn’t willing to give up contact with another woman, then he probably isn’t ready to commit to the relationship. It’s best to confront him about it and find out if he still has feelings for her before investing your time and energy into the relationship.
He Never Remembers Special Dates Like Your Birthday or Anniversaries
If your man never remembers special dates like your birthday or anniversaries, it’s a sign that he doesn’t care enough to invest in the relationship. He may have an issue with commitment and be more interested in other aspects of his life than you. It might be time to find someone who values your relationship and actually cares about creating memories with you.
He Never Pays for Anything, Even When He Should
It is okay to be self-sufficient, but most times, when a man cares about you, he wants to buy you stuff. He wants to surprise you, he wants to show his love and appreciation for you. If your man never pays for anything even when it’s clear he should be the one paying, then it’s a sign he doesn’t care about your relationship. Steer clear of this person as he is not worth your time.
He Doesn’t Want to Be Seen With You in Public
There is a chance that other things take precedence over your connection if he often shies away from being with you in public and always justifies his actions. He might consider you to be beneath him and bad for his image, or he is trying to keep you a secret because he has a wife or another girlfriend.
His Stories Don’t Add Up, and Contradictions Are Frequent
When he never has a clear answer for where he’s been, who he’s seen, or what his plans are, you should take note. Pay close attention to his stories and watch for contradictions. If he tends to make up stories when caught in a lie, it’s a red flag that you can’t trust him.
He Hardly Calls or Texts
Loving someone means you want to talk and be with them every second you get, so if your man hardly calls or reaches out to you, he probably has something more important than you that he is hiding. He might be married or seriously dating someone else or some other people, which makes it hard for him to maintain healthy communication.
He Won’t Give You Access to His Phone
If he won’t give you access to his phone, there’s evidently something that he doesn’t want you to see. A healthy relationship requires openness and transparency, so if a man won’t provide this, it could be a sign that he has something to hide.
You Are Confused About How He Feels About You
A good and healthy relationship should be unambiguous. If the confusion outweighs the feelings of love, then something is wrong. It would be best to cut off before you get deeper into a relationship that will eventually cause emotional pain and suffering.
He Doesn’t Care If You Are Hurt
You deserve someone who genuinely cares about you. If he doesn’t care if you are hurt, then it’s a sign that he is not worth being with. A partner should be supportive and understanding of your emotional state, not indifferent or unsympathetic to your feelings.
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