Love and relationships are a source of joy, hope, connection, and growth, but they can also cause immense pain and disappointment if we buy into lies that don’t serve us. Here are 20 lies we tell ourselves about love and relationships that could sabotage your chance at true happiness.
“Love conquers all”
Love has the power to bring two people together and make them feel incredibly connected, but love alone cannot overcome major issues. Compromise, communication, commitment, and action are also required for a healthy relationship.
If your partner is abusive or if you have vastly different values and life aspirations, love alone won’t be enough. Find someone who shares your values and is willing to work with you.
“I need someone else to be happy”
No one can make you happy. Before you can find true love, learning how to be content and understand what makes you happy is important. Once you know yourself, a partner can add an extra layer of happiness to your life, but they should not be the source of it.
Pursue your dreams, get to know yourself, and find joy in life first – the rest will come naturally.
“I should settle for less than I deserve”
You are worth more than that! Don’t give away your time or energy to someone who isn’t willing to meet you halfway and respect your feelings. You deserve someone who will treat you like the amazing person you are.
Don’t settle for less than what makes you feel safe and secure – your heart deserves nothing but the best.
“It’s love at first sight”
Instant attraction is common, but true love takes time to develop. It requires getting to know each other, understanding each other’s vulnerabilities, and sharing your lives.
Trust is built over time, so don’t jump into a relationship because you feel instant chemistry. Take your time, and get to know the person properly before making any commitments.
“If I get hurt again, I’ll never love again”
Painful experiences from the past can make us scared of taking risks and opening up. But don’t let fear stop you from finding true love – if you give up on relationships, you might miss out on something amazing.
The best way to move forward is to accept what happened in the past and let yourself heal. When you’re ready, take small steps towards opening up your heart again – it can lead to some of the best moments of your life.
“It’s too late to find love”
It’s never too late. Even if you’re over 50, there are plenty of ways to meet new people and explore the possibility of finding someone special. Get out of your comfort zone, join dating websites or apps, attend singles events, or try speed dating. There is no right or wrong way – just be open to possibilities and put yourself out there.
Love is worth the effort, so don’t let age or past failures stop you from finding it. Keep your expectations realistic and positive – you could find something amazing when you least expect it!
“I should be with someone perfect”
Nobody is perfect, and neither are relationships. It’s normal to have differences and disagreements – it doesn’t mean it’s a sign that you’re not compatible.
Focus on your partner’s good qualities, stay open-minded, and be willing to compromise. Perfection is an unrealistic expectation – focus on finding someone who can make you happy and accept you for who you are.
“Someday, my prince/princess will come”
Songs and movies make it seem like true love just happens – but relationships take effort. It’s important to work on your relationship, communicate openly, and show appreciation for each other.
Don’t wait for your prince or princess charming because they might not exist. Instead, try to find someone you can create a meaningful connection with. You have to work for love, but the rewards are worth it!
“Love means never having to say sorry”
No relationship is perfect – no matter how much you love each other, there will be times when things don’t go as planned. You should be able to apologize and forgive each other to move forward in the relationship.
Learning to say sorry shows maturity and strength – you are willing to take responsibility for your mistakes and commit to improving things. Don’t underestimate its power – a simple apology can go a long way in restoring trust and harmony.
“The one”
It can be tempting to search for “The One” – the perfect person who will make all your dreams come true. But this is a dangerous mindset – it puts too much pressure on you and your potential partner and sets unrealistic expectations.
Instead of looking for The One, focus on building relationships that give you joy and last through thick and thin. It’s much more important to find someone who will love and respect you than to search for the perfect person that doesn’t exist.
“I should be with them because they’re nice”
Just because someone is kind doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you. Don’t be fooled into thinking that niceness equals love – it’s important to look past superficial qualities and get to know a person deeply before committing.
Think about what you truly want in a partner and look for someone who shares the same values and goals. This goes beyond being nice – it’s about finding someone who truly understands you and makes you feel valued.
“My toxic relationship is better than being alone”
It’s time to say goodbye if your relationship makes you feel miserable and drained. Being in a toxic relationship could mean sacrificing your happiness, so don’t be afraid to let go of someone who isn’t treating you right.
Take the time to heal and focus on yourself. It can be scary to let go, but it can also be liberating. Remember that being alone is okay – and you’ll find someone who is worth the effort soon enough!
“My toxic partner will change”
People can change, but it takes a lot of time and effort. If your partner isn’t willing to work to improve themselves, it’s not worth your time and energy. Don’t waste your life waiting around for someone who doesn’t show signs of growth or commitment.
Learn to recognize when enough is enough, and don’t be afraid to walk away if your partner isn’t able or willing to make changes. There is someone out there who will appreciate and respect you; give them a chance to find you.
“My partner beats me because they love me”
Physical, mental, and emotional abuse is never acceptable – no matter what your partner says. Loving someone does not mean controlling them or putting them down. If you’re in an abusive relationship, seek help immediately – it’s never too late to change for the better.
Love should bring out your best self and fill you with joy and happiness. Don’t settle for less than you deserve – there is always hope for a brighter future.
“Love is blind”
Love is not blind – it’s a conscious choice. You should never put yourself in a dangerous situation or stay with someone who doesn’t make you feel safe. Be mindful of your feelings and the signals your partner sends you – if something feels wrong, trust your gut and take action.
Love requires effort and understanding from both parties. It should never be one-sided or involve sacrificing parts of yourself – find someone who will accept and cherish you for who you are.
“It will fix itself”
Ignoring problems won’t make them go away. If you are facing issues in your relationship, take the time to address them properly and find ways to work through them.
Talk it out with your partner, and don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Communication is key in any relationship, and it can help you find a way to resolve a problem.
“I am not good enough for this person”
Don’t sell yourself short! Everyone has the right to be with someone who makes them feel loved and valued. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t treat you right, no matter how much they say they love you.
You are worthy of true and lasting love – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. When you find someone who truly makes you feel valued and appreciated, embrace it and never let go.
“I believe they love me although they don’t act it”
The actions of a person speak louder than their words. Don’t ignore the signs that your partner is not treating you well, and don’t be afraid to walk away from someone who isn’t giving you what you need.
Love should bring out the best in both parties and should never involve sacrificing your happiness. If you are in a situation where you’re not being respected and treated properly, don’t be afraid to move on. There is someone out there who will love and appreciate you.
Give yourself time to heal and focus on yourself – everything will get better with time. Don’t be afraid to let go of people who aren’t good for you.
Saying you like someone when you don’t
It can be hard to tell someone the truth when they are expecting something else. However, it’s important to be honest and open with your feelings – leading someone on is unfair and a waste of time for both parties.
If you don’t have feelings for someone, be direct and clear about it, so there is no confusion. It may be uncomfortable, but it’s the right thing to do. Let go of someone who isn’t meant for you and make room for a more meaningful connection.
“Love can be forced”
It may feel like love can be forced, but it’s important to remember that it cannot. Love requires understanding, trust, and respect from both parties – if any of these are missing, the relationship will not last. Trying to force someone into a relationship is unhealthy and disrespectful.
If you feel desperate for love, take a step back and focus on yourself. Find something that brings you joy and look for ways to improve your self-esteem. When you are ready, you will be able to find someone who is right for you.
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